The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at
home in the bosom of my family.

-Thomas Jefferson


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hope Brightened by Pain


Yesterday I spent the majority of my evening reading a most remarkable blog that I had found while “blog hopping” (thanks, Force for Good for the link!). The author is a mother of four children. During the pregnancy of her fourth child, she found out that the baby would be born fatally ill and would not live beyond a few hours after birth. This woman, Angie, painfully and spiritually follows the grief journey of a mother losing her child. She is an adept writer whose talent is amplified by her experience as a psychologist. Her husband sings in the Christian group, Selah, which adds a very meaningful gospel perspective into gaining wisdom despite the hardships of life. The bitter pain of Angie’s loss is eased by her deep and ongoing relationship with the One who knows all our pains and a Father who also watched life being taken from His Son.

Angie’s anguish and unfathomable strength mirrors another mother who admirably has dealt with countless trials that have helped her become who she is today. My amazing mother has taught me about the Gospel in many ways. It has been through my mother's example of enduring a life of hardships (accompanied with countless blessings, of course) where others might crumple, she has risen above. Nephi explained best what my mother busies herself doing, “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2N 31:20).

This coming weekend will mark seven years since my sister, Rachel, passed away in a car accident. I have never felt as close to my Father in Heaven with such a clear understanding of the Plan of Happiness as during the weeks and months following her passing. My greatest understanding that led to peace in continuing on with life, despite having lost my best friend, was my need to keep up with her progression. She has the advantage of being relieved of many of the cares and burdens we carry in mortality. Her spiritual journey will continue and surpass my own if I am not diligent in daily communicating with my Maker and studying His Word through the scriptures and living prophets.

Rachel is a bright example of love, joy, beauty and side-splitting humor. Do I miss her? Yes. Am I disappointed at the way life sometimes turns out? Yes. Do I believe in a God whose understanding can turn my nighttime sorrows into an eternity of joys? Yes.

My heart right now is reaching in prayer to mothers and fathers who have lost their children. I believe that Christ “…will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces…” (Isaiah 25:8)

6 comments:

The San Diego Mills said...

What a touching post you wrote. You have the greatest family and the greatest mom, such a funny and sweet lady she is. I admire so much your strength and your families strength in dealing with the tragic loss of your sweet sister. You are a great inspiration and I love ya lady!

Lula Mae said...

I'm so sorry about your sister. I'm sure this will be a different kind of weekend for you and your family. I am glad that you have found some measure of peace in your relationship with Heavenly Father. Thank you for sharing a brief glimpse of your closeness with Him to inspire us all.

Lisa R.D. said...

I loved this beautiful tribute to your mom and sister--I'm so sorry to hear that she is gone, she sounds wonderful. The scripture you quoted is my favorite (it's on my missionary plaque) and I think it says so much in a few short lines. I admire your ability to look for the blessings amidst the trials, you are a great example to us all!

Marissa said...

Beautiful post, Miriam. I've always admired the amount of strength and faith shown by you and your family. I hope you will have peace this weekend and know that you are very blessed!

Unknown said...

That was beautifully said. We miss Rachel and think of her often. I'm happy to hear you are doing well.

. said...

Miriam, I absolutely remember when your sweet sister passed away. I remember you were very close to her. What a hauntingly beautiful blog. I read entries up to February, when she had the diagnosis of her baby having the problems. She is so poetic and poignant with her words, she reminds me of Neal A. Maxwell. Isn't it wonderful that there are women, even of different faiths, that are so strong and steadfast in the trials of life? Her words touched me deeply and I am so grateful you posted this on your blog.